Gordian Knot

My name is Shane Hastings, and I untangle things.

When I was younger, say four or five, my older brothers started noticing I never had the same problems with my laces they always seemed to have. Their hastily tied bows would quickly dissolve into hideous, knotted tangles, grimy tapeworms latched to them for dear life.

So they started bringing them to me to untie them.

It was simple for me. No matter how convoluted, twisted, and knotted a lace got, it was still a single thread, with a defined beginning, middle, and end. Even when other threads intersected and twisted, matting into braids and dreadlocks, they too were single threads. They simply... unfolded for me.

Over, under, around and through.

When I was a bit older -- twelve, I think? -- I got called into the principal's office. I'd always done fairly well on tests, I thought, but too well perhaps. My teachers began to suspect I had been cheating, so they gave me a different quiz than everyone else. A multiple-choice pop quiz with stuff they'd never gone over, and I still scored a hundred. I hadn't even noticed. Passed one test only to fail another, stumbling right into a trap.

I hadn't cheated, of course. But it was the first time I noticed my prediliction for untying things hinted at something more innate, more primal.

In college, I skipped myself lazily over the placid waters of a dozen majors, causing brief but violent ripples at every step. Bioinformatics, Eng Lit, Illustration, Architecture. The highlight for me was a twenty minute argument with a two-time Mendeleev laureate on why string theory was so utterly and completely wrong that ended with him storming out of the lecture hall, vowing never to return until our institution produced students that actually wanted to learn.

After two years of that, my folks refused to pay another cent of tutition until I made up my mind about what I wanted. So I left school, started working odd jobs at soup kitchens and the like, roomed with another nice girl, Karen. She was clean enough, didn't keep me up when she brought boys over, and most of all didn't seem to mind when I came up with my half of the rent two weeks too late every time.

I think we were eating store-bought lasagna the night we were watching the news about the La Brise area murders. I was fixing yet another of Ren's knotted necklaces. I think she started jumbling them up just to see if I could do it. They brought up pictures of the third murdered girl, Yolanda Cabrera, who'd been found brutally beaten and dumped in a tree off a hiking trail in So Cal. Police were asking for any information people had, showing a sketch of some burly mouth-breather, based on sketchy eyewitness accounts and footprints found at the scene. They flashed up pictures of the scene, pictures of Yolanda and the other two victims, all fairly attractive Hispanic girls with high cheekbones and a strong jawline, showing pictures of the scene, footprints, showing the sketch again, until...

"It's a woman."

Ren looked up at me, forcing a "Who is?" out through chunks of meat and pasta.

"At least, he thinks he is. Or he thinks he should've been. He, or she? Ey, is that the word? Whatever, they were born hermaphroditic, but their folks made the choice for them. Sexual assignment surgery. He thinks they made the wrong choice."

Ren chewed over this thought and swallowed it as if the taste didn't quite agree with her. She asked me, "You know this how?"

Idly playing with Ren's necklace, I replied, "Look at the women they've picked -- all very beautiful, but with masculine features. The woman he would've been. They're not missing any jewelry, so not likely theft. No sign of sexual trauma, so not rape. They aren't from affluent areas, so probably not B&E, and they did well enough in their schools and jobs to not be so tied into the drug biz that someone would hang em up in a tree. The footprint gait is a masculine length, but he sashays an awful lot when he walks. And nearly all the trauma is to the face." Something gives way in my hands, and just like that, her necklace is free. Then, laughing, scaring my poor roommate, "He's smashing mirrors!"

Clink. Ren drops her fork, staring at me in much the same way a horny teenage boy would stare at his naked grandmother. On a whim, I called the number on the screen and started blurting out everything. It took two or three transfers to get to someone who actually gave a damn, but the Lieutenant that finally answered had me come down to the station to give a statement.

An alibi first, of course. People always think I'm cheating first.

After explaining what I'd untangled, Lieutenant Hargrave relucatantly let me look at the rest of the evidence that hadn't yet been made public.

Over, under, around and through.

The cops would find Hector Fernandez, 32, coked out of his mind in an abandonded Anaheim mannequin store yelling full throttle at some poor store clerk about how his parents stole his flower and gave it to her and "all the other princesses".

He told her he was going to get every single petal back.

Have you ever watched yourself on the news? You fidget a whole lot more than you thought you did. Ren didn't notice the fidgeting though. She noticed that I was right, and I was on the news being right, and she'd turn to me and say, "So you know how you're always late on the rent?"

I guess you just sort of fall into these things.

My name is Shane Hastings. What can I untangle for you today?